This told essay is based on a conversation with Georg Loewen, 35, senior director of digital marketing at public relations agency Sourcecode Communications. He lives in West Orange, New Jersey. Business Insider confirmed Loewen's employment in a written statement. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
When I joined my current employer in November 2024, I made it clear that my first job was to be a father. My wife and I were both working, and our daughter had just turned one year old.
I've always been lucky to work for employers that are flexible, but like many new parents, I still didn't understand what it meant to be a father and how that would conflict with the realities of work.
Since 2022, my company has implemented a three-day office policy for employees based in New York and New Jersey. The hour-long door-to-door commute to the Manhattan office proved difficult over time.
If I miss the train, I'll be late arriving at the office.
Most mornings, I'm in charge of daycare drop-off and pick-up, and that time is 8 a.m. This timing makes it difficult to catch the ideal 8:20am train and arrive at the office after 9am when everything is on time. The daycare is located 7.2 miles from the train station, and parking is first-come, first-served, so finding a spot can be an adventure.
If I catch the 8:46 a.m. train, I'll arrive at the office after 10 a.m., but I sometimes miss that. When calls did come in, I often had to hop on customer calls during my commute, which wasn't ideal because the service wasn't always reliable and I had to change trains in Newark.
At some point, finding the best approach to each day—balancing my free time and my time at the office—started to feel like a math equation.
Business Insider spoke with dozens of employees about how they responded to changes in company strategy, layoffs, and mandates to return to the office. If you have a story to share, contact this reporter via email at jzinkula@businessinsider.com or Signal at jzinkula.29.
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Conversations with managers now allow flexible work from home
Earlier this year, my daughter was having a rough time at daycare. My boss noticed that I was having a hard time coming into the office consistently and actively addressed it.
Initially, we talked about reducing our time in the office and setting up hot desks, but quickly agreed to be flexible for the time being. If the daycare drop-off or pick-up is too long or parking is a problem, I plan to work from home.
It seemed like what mattered wasn't where I logged in from, but whether the work got done.
After this conversation, I started working in the office 0-2 days a week.
Sometimes I feel guilty for the flexibility I'm given
When I started going to the office less often, I felt a little guilty. Partly because I was worried that this was non-negotiable. Even now, I sometimes worry too much about what other people think of me, or worry that people will think of me as someone who works from home more often.
But the truth is, I've only ever felt so supported. There is an understanding within the company that family comes first, and I truly believe that my colleagues understand that as well. There's no bad blood. Just trust.
For me, that trust allows me to send my daughter to daycare, commute to the office as much as possible, and come home for dinner with my wife and daughter, as long as New Jersey Transit cooperates.
Not every day is perfect, but most of the time it works.
I guess you could call the flexibility given to me an exception or an accommodation, but to me, it feels like an understanding. I am confident that my company will provide the same trust and flexibility for anyone else that it provides for me.
I know my flexibility won't last forever
I currently have a flexible commute, typically coming into the office 1-2 days a week, but often coming in once a week on holidays or parent-teacher conferences.
It's still difficult to find parking at the station, so I recently bought a folding bike. My new commute routine is to drop my daughter off, drive home, and bike the 1.5 miles to the station as quickly as possible. I'm still on the waiting list for a parking permit at the station, but my neighbor told me not to expect too much.
I'm grateful for the flexibility my company provides, but I also know that it won't last forever as my team continues to grow. We recently hired a marketing coordinator and we try to have her in the office as much as possible, especially during the onboarding stage. There was no clear deadline for how long this flexibility would last, but we expect it to be re-evaluated over time.
For me, one of the biggest lessons from this experience is that if you are clear about your needs, you may be able to get more flexibility, and such conversations are not as stressful as they first seem.
